Always Wanting More…

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What drives you? What gets you out of bed in the morning? I ask myself this question multiple times a day.  I’m structured by nature, I love making lists, being organized, follow a set schedule, knowing basically what’s going to happen in my day. I mean I love the spontaneity of not knowing and being surprised and doing new things too…but by nature I response poorly to change!

I find myself always wanting more…during my waking hours I work at a middle school, mainly helping those kids who need extra help in writing, reading, and social skills. As a kid I was always curious, always getting into things I wasn’t suppose too, figuring things out, and pushing the limits.  Learning was hard for me too, maybe that’s why I sought out a path to help people, but look where it’s gotten me, still wanting more!  I find myself unsatisfied at work, and that frustrates me to no end.  Growing up I had great role models, my mother worked very hard so my father could finish college and get a great job, then they raised three children and then she, herself, went back to school.  Because of them, I knew after high school I would go on off to college and then get a job, I was driven, goal-oriented, ambition and hard working.  I always pushed for more, and always tried to challenge myself!  I had a sense of purpose and even though I questioned life at times, I knew my path and followed it.  It wasn’t until college that things started to change.  I felt lost and confused, that sense of purpose began to get questioned.  I think that’s why at such a young age I took to sports so well…I had raw talent for it, and it was a skill I could learn easily and I was very good at it.  But once my years of college started to slowly get swallowed up, I knew my skills would soon go dormant and not have any use in the so called “real world”  I look back on this time and realize that sports were an outlet for me, an expressive outlet.  Some use art or music to express themselves, I used strength, speed, and agility.  I was good at it, it made sense to me and it gave me purpose in life.  I know I could probably invite competition back into my life, but it will probably never be the same as it use to be.  But it has got me thinking about my other skills.  Through college the only real skills I learned were on the track, in the weight room & at the Mub (our food court), skills are things you acquire, by definition, it means to come to have often by one’s own effects, gain.  Skills are things you learn and learn to do well!  So when I was complaining to my husband the other day that I didn’t have a skill, he looked at me and said, “Well isn’t photography a skill” Sometimes that man makes perfect sense J  Of course it is a skill and for many, a great talent too.

Thanks to my curiosity, I find myself constantly seeking out new information about blogging, photography, crafts, you name it.  The more, the better because once you find something, it will probably lead you somewhere else, and you’ll never know where you’re going to end up, it’s great!  My father always says, “You learn something new everyday.” And I believe him!

So today I was thumbing through flipboard on my iPad and came across a new website about photography, Picture Correct.  In it, Dennis, the author, writes about Syle and Vision and What Makes One Photographer Different From Another.  As I was reading, one line in particular caught my eye and it resonates with me whole heartedly.  He writes, “Some would say photography is not just self expression, it expresses or even defines who we are.”  I have been doing sports ever since I could walk and have been honing my skills for a very long time, I believe talent, skill and practice = results…maybe I haven’t given photography the time it needs to develop inside me, I know I have talent, I love taking photos and the art of it speaks to me…I have the basic skills right now and understand what my camera does, so one would think with practice and time comes the results I’m looking for.  I just think I’m looking for something to hold onto right now and with patience I think I can blossom into a great photographer, but until then, I will keep wanting, keep learning and keep driving, because I DO KNOW why I get out of bed in the morning, it’s my support staff, my husband, my family, my friends…it’s them who define me so I will hold onto that for now.

Thanks for listening ❤

 

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